Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He care for you. Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour.-- 1 Peter: 6-8 (NRSV) ___________________________
I AM a brain trauma survivor! By His mighty hand, I have defeated brain trauma! ___________________________
It's funny the things you and I forget that, with the grace of God, have come to pass, as if they mean nothing, or weren't in any way an incredible accomplishment. Because like everything in life, you CAN overcome something devastating, like brain trauma, if you ask for healing AND meet Him halfway by doing your part.
The trick of course, is knowing HOW to meet Him halfway, which is made difficult by the fact that much of this knowledge is hidden and/or not shared openly with us by our culture #truth
When I was diagnosed after my first, and utterly devastating anxiety attack, where I almost passed out at work (for REAL!), I was SO mad 🤬🤬🤬, so utterly in denial 😠 that this could be happening to me, that I dumped poor Dr. Williams, who I'd been seeing for years, like a hot potato 🥔.
Yup! And then I went searching and found Dr. Yap, whose second opinion confirmed that of Dr. W, but she framed it as having been the direct cause of the accident and that I had most likely damaged the serotonin producing part of my brain 🤯 and. like Dr. W, she recommended that I wait out that period of healing by taking meds PERIOD. She closed her comments by telling me that the brain is mysterious and there was no way to predict how long it would take for my injury to heal.
Actually....Dr. Yap's final, final comment was that she'd put me on the medication for 6 months and then we'd re-evaluate. TEN years later, I was re-evaluation free 😆😅😂🤣😐
Do you suffer from one of the many forms of depression that are often accompanied by anxiety? Are you still struggling with it, or have you overcome your depression? And if you did overcome, what did you do to make that happen? I would love to hear from you in the comments 📜or in a private message📨!
Little by little I'll tell you the strange beginning to my recovery, along with the ensuing events, relationships and actions that made the whole thing possible. You in? Fantastic!!! ...
I remember years ago reading somewhere that David Bowie 👦🎤 (God rest his soul) claimed that he didn't remember much about the decade spanning the 1970's. I remember scoffing at the time thinking: How can someone forget TEN whole years???
In retrospect, and what's likely closer to the truth, Mr. Jones (aka Bowie) probably meant that due to his rock star lifestyle, quite a bit of what went on back then was a bit of a blur 🥴😎🤩
So, I bet you know what I'm going to say next but, can YOU claim to have ever had a significant span of time disappear or simply get away from you ⏰📆? If you have, I would LOVE to hear about it privately, or in the comments below. And having said that, I will now confess that I have come to call the ten years following my car accident, ensuing brain trauma and my lexapro/apralzalom 💊💊💊 enduced haze my personal lost years.
And why do I say that? Because of all the decades of my life, the first ten years of the new millennium was a blur. I can remember specific events, good times, bad times, and periods where one day simply stretched into the next. But, more than ever in my life before, every single stinking day was operated in survival mode 🧟♀️🧟♂️🦸♀️⚔️ popping pills, and then more pills if the "I feel like I'm going to die right now' anxiety started to break through.
Don't get me wrong, I fully recognize that I COULD NOT have functioned if I hadn't taken this medication. In the short term, it was a God-send. At the time I sat in the BIG CHAIR (lol) operating a Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, we had just bought a home 🏔🏠and relocated the kids to New Hampshire. Without the meds, and sometimes even with, I couldn't regulate my emotions and even the smallest tasks, like going to the grocery store, were insanely difficult for me to do.
Only view-able in hind sight however, and abdicating no personal responsibility (because I CHOSE to take them), these medications, in tandem with our standard American diet 🥨🥞🍕🍟🍔🌭🌮🍨🍫🍭🍩 and lifestyle, not only impaired my judgement, but my then and future quality of life as well.
Now in the telling, I realize that this all sounds a little dire and ominous, but it's all true and it took me years to figure out the entire truth of it. Having said that, it ALL happened for a REASON, and all of it made me the person I am today who can come to you, vibrant, healthy, energetic, confident and EXCITED about turning 60 years old.
Are you looking forward, REALLY looking forward to tomorrow, next week, your next birthday, or turning the corner of 50, 60, 70 or even 80? I hope so, but if the answer is 'sort of' or 'not really'.....stick around 😍😉 there's 57 more days of this bad boy adventure to go! ...
🎉🎉Welcome to 60 Days To 60: Day 2🎂🎂 (Published a day late, but not a dollar short :) )
Do you have a pivotal event in your past that you look back on and say: That's where it all began?
I cause myself to doubt at times, but that day for me was in May of 2000 when I totaled my car 🚗 driving in heavy rain 🌧commuting to work in Massachusetts from our home in Rhode Island.
The whole experience is still very surreal. One moment I was listening to The Goo Goo Dolls 🎤🎸 focused on my destination, and in the next my car was spinning out of control, heading for the guard rail, with me thinking: Great! I'm finally going to STOP!
When I came to after being knocked out by the air bag, a kindly Brazilian man 👨 was looking to my needs, as an ambulance arrived to whisk me away to the local hospital.
After viewing the remains of my car, by all accounts, I should have died that day. But, by the grace of God 😇, I walked away with only a bad bump on the back of my head and a few painful contusions to my face.
However, looking back now, I DID die that day, just not in the traditional sense. Because soon after my accident, that was not an accident 🙃😉 I discovered that I had suffered brain trauma that led to years of depression and awful anxiety attacks, which led me to grief and denial over who I had been and who I had now become.
After I grudgingly accepted my situation, I was forced to admit that I had, at least in the short term, to go on an antidepressant with an anti-anxiety med (zanax) as an as needed back up. That 'short term' idea, however, stretched into 10 years (!!!) and a wild ride on the drug induced nutrient depletion bandwagon that no-one ever tells you about.
And, that, my friends, despite my doubts, is precisely why this is the pivotal event in my personal story, which will hopefully be a cautionary tale and eye opening instruction to you on my 60 Days To 60 journey.
The good news? It get's worse before it gets better, but it does get better, because there is always HOPE. See you tomorrow! ...
Mine is a story of triumph over adversity that came, most unexpectedly, after I hit rock bottom mentally, physically, financially and spiritually in 2010 😞 And when I say 'rock bottom', I mean that in the most gritty, real and literal sense possible.
And although I'm still on my journey, my rise from the ashes is nothing short of a miracle. Matter of fact, none of it, the strength to endure, the vision to see a way out, the gift of earthly angels who helped me along the way and the blessing of the friendship, positivity and support of not one, but two vibrant communities, would not have been possible without the mercy and grace of God 💒.
And although He sent me signs along the way, He waited for me to meet Him halfway before the true transformation began 🍎🏋️♀️🙏.
Now we'll get to more of my story later, but the question on most of your minds is: What's the big deal with this '60 Days To 60' thing? What's the point 🤔?
The point is that this older broad is seeing way too many of you, just like me, settle for lives where you're not the best and healthiest version of yourself. Lives where you are accepting your mental and physical limitations as immovable obstacles that you have to live with, when that may or may not be true. I've been there, and there is a way, that we've forgotten, to live a more vibrant and inspired life 😁😍🥰
It is my hope and prayer that you will be inspired to ACTION by this 60 Days To 60 adventure. And I promise to provide you with a good story, tangible value and gifts along the way. And to find out what that means exactly, you'll just have to take a leap of faith and stick around 😁 ...